By Jackie M.
Let me start by saying this article is intended to be an expression of my emotions after experiencing a very bad “haircut” that wasn’t planned. I will explain why I selected the title above as you read.
I have shared in past articles that I have been living in a new city, Nashville, for a little over 6 months now after getting married, and with my move came a struggle to find a true natural hair stylist for myself. I used to be very committed to seeing my stylist, when I lived in Indianapolis, and she was very experienced, she knew how to handle my hair in its natural state. I had no trouble with her actually trimming my hair, to maintain its length, to give me a nice shape, and to promote hair growth by trimming it in its naturally curly state (no blow drying or flat ironing necessary) Just to get the desired trim I wanted and needed….
So I have had every reason to be nervous about letting other stylists bring scissors anywhere close to my curlies, since I moved.
When I first moved to Nashville, I tried two stylists that claimed to specialize in natural hair. The first was not as experienced as I had hoped. The second stylist had a lot more knowledge then the first, so I went to her for three visits and also allowed her to trim my hair for the first time, in Nashville. This took place about 3 months ago, and my first trim actually went very well. See pic below.
Unfortunately, I can only go so long between trims, and the second stylist who gave me the decent trim ended up moving away to the West Coast, shortly after I started to see her. Of course this really upset me, because it’s hard enough to get comfortable with a new stylist, even harder to find someone willing and experienced enough to trim my hair in its curly state (wet, Afro like), while also maintaining my length.
So I had to make a decision recently to try another stylist but I made the mistake in scheduling what was supposed to be a trim on my first appointment with her. My mind was thinking financially tho, like what’s the best way for me to save money.
I just booked one appointment instead of two. And I greatly regret it today. Below are two pics of my hair a couple of days before I had the bad haircut experience.
First off, this new stylist I went to yesterday did not give me a good impression when she went to shampoo rinse and condition my hair. She left shampoo in the center of my scalp three times and seemed to not understand how to rinse thicker curls in a shampoo bowl.
I had every reason to raise concern in my head about letting her also trim my hair, but I was silly and thought since the majority of the reviews on Vagaro seemed positive, including about hair trims, I would continue and let the knots and tangles on the ends of my hair get taken care of…
Well I’m all about healthy hair, over long hair, however I did not think it was necessary to chop my hair down the way it was.
The conversation started with the typical, “You should really come in with your hair already blow-dried if you’re asking to get a trim” this is before she charged me an extra $25 detangling fee that she said was necessary and then stated that it’s best to trim my hair either flat ironed or blow dried out.
I argued the point that my stylist from back home would trim my hair in its wet curly state and she was always able to keep my length while maintaining the elongated shape I wanted to keep. I didn’t think it was necessary to do all of that if my hair is never worn flat ironed. I always loved to wear my twist outs, and curly fro look, because I had the hanging shape that framed my face shape nicely, and that I worked 7 years to achieve.
Not that I hate short hair, but my longer hair had more versatility to style and I liked wearing my ponypuff as well. Now I can’t do any of that with the confidence I had before because of this…
My hair was chopped not trimmed, so short that I can barely wear my two- strand twists. I lost so much of my hang time. I cannot confidently wear my hair in the twists because they are completely uneven. This counterfeit natural hair stylist, chopped my hair so short on the right side of my head, and left my long hanging hair on the left side of my head, that now I feel like Bozo the clown when I tried to wear my hair out in the curly fro style.
What frustrated me more than anything is that I was not heard, or listened to. I did not get loud or aggressive (cuz I never do that), I asked politely and explained exactly what I needed for her to do, to trim my hair’s colored ends. That was it. That was all I wanted. But instead I ended up with a hot mess, and uneven strands everywhere.
Being even more real, my heart just sank last night and I had an emotional breakdown. I hate to admit that I am so attached to my hair just like most women, but I’m not ashamed to express why I am. I was proud of getting my hair healthy again, and I would get encouraged by seeing the hair growth over time. That meant that I was doing something right, in my eyes.
Now I feel like I have to start over again, like wear my hair was 4 years ago, in the awkward hair length stage. By awkward I mean it is hard to wear it out because my hair is flying away like I have bat wings above my ears (hence the uneven terrible haircut job). And it’s harder to style because I don’t have the longer strands to grab onto like I fell in love with.
No it’s not the end of the world. And I have decided I will take it from here. DIY MY HAIR. Til I can find a reliable natural hair stylist to shape my hair again, and help me do gradual hair trimming that maintains length, while promoting hair growth. That’s all I want. I’m not trying to sound like a diva. I’m just sad that I allowed this to happen yesterday. We live and learn, and just like the anthem by Indie.Arie’s song “I Am Not My Hair” I have to remember one very important thing…
I should not idolize my hair, and I have to remember that God made me beautiful whether my hair is short or long. It’s very difficult for me to except my hair length right now. But I’m going to work at styling it how I can, and relearning how to deal with this new length I did not want. And my hair will grow back! I have done it before it’s just been years ago.
So with that said I am currently attempting a Perm Rod set on my uneven hair, and hoping that this style can be one I can go to in the meantime. I’ll post my results in a a few. (Sitting under the dryer)
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
If any of you know of true natural hair stylists in the Nashville, TN area please let me know! I need someone that can do my hair the way it is and even my fro out again. With love I’m out. 💫🌺 CW.